The body of the late, great comic actor Peter Sellers is currently tunnelling through the earth and is fast approaching the Earth’s core, scientists warned last night.
Sellers, who starred as Inspector Jaques Clouseau in the original Pink Panther movies, had begun spinning in his grave back in 2006, when Steve Martin took over the role of Inspector Clouseau in the woefully unfunny remake of The Pink Panther. As the film opened, Sellers’ body span in it’s grave with such force that it broke free of the coffin, and begun boring a hole through the earth beneath.
By the time the film had finished it’s run, Sellers’ body was said to have tunnelled through the earth’s crust, and halfway through the mantle.
However, before Sellers’ corpse could be retrieved, MGM announced plans for a sequel, sending the body spinning back through the earth.
As The Pink Panther 2 prepares to open in the UK this weekend, scientists fear that the body of the former Goons star may spin so wildly that it will finally penetrate the Earth’s core.
“Something must be done,” warned a pipe-smoking scientist. “Otherwise Peter Sellers’ body will be burnt to a crisp, and it will all be Steve Martin’s fault.”
Emergency plans are being drawn up to go after Sellers’ corpse and bring it back up to the surface. Should Sellers’ body already be aflame, then Steve Martin is being drafted in to urinate profusely all over the charred remains, much as he has done already. 
