Twitter, the social-networking craze currently sweeping the nerdier parts of the globe, has given ordinary people a tantalising glimpse into the lives of the rich and famous, as more and more celebrities sign up to the site. What it has also done is to reveal just how brain-crushingly dull most of them are.
“I was really disappointed when I started following Jonathan Ross,” says celebrity fan Melinda Sackslurp, after she found the loud-mouthed chat-show host’s profile on Twitter. “I expected him to be living it up, throwing twenty pound notes out of hotel windows, or bad-mouthing old ladies and offending beloved character actors. Instead, it seems he spends an awful lot of his time walking his dogs.”
A similar shock laid in store for Harvey Bentstine, after he started following the Jack White fronted band The Raconteurs. “I was a big fan of the band, and was hoping for some pretty wild tales detailing their sordid, rock and roll antics on tour. But no, they just keep posting links to videos on YouTube and shit. That’s balls.”
Other terribly disappointing celebrity Twitterers include Britney Spears (”went shopping, had a milkshake”), Elijah Wood (”listening to ipod”) and Stephen Fry (”stuck in a lift”).
You may now also follow gaup on Twitter too. Now, that is exciting. 
