Michael Jackson Dead, Not Dead, Dead, Say Reports.

  BREAKING NEWS

   LA: Pop superstar Michael Jackson may or may not be dead, according to reports just in.

 The King of Pop, 50, was rushed to UCLA hospital in Los Angeles, where his condition was described as “either dead, not dead, or somewhere in between”.

 As crowds started to gather outside the hospital, news began to filter that the singer may have had a cardiac arrest, or not, and was either very ill, or dead.

 Naturally, gaup is on the scene and ready to bring you more news as we get it, or don’t get it. - 12:02pm.

UPDATE: reports are coming in that Michael Jackson is in fact not dead. More news as we get it. - 12:08pm.

UPDATE: a man who was quite near the hospital at the time Jackson was bought in has told gaup that Jackson, “was definitely in an ambulance.”  More news as we get it. - 12:11pm.

UPDATE: various sources are now claiming that Michael Jackson is dead.  More news as we get it. - 12:20pm.

UPDATE: gaup has exclusively learnt that the upcoming Michael Jackson gigs in London will probably be cancelled if Jackson is indeed dead. More news as we get it. - 12:28pm.

UPDATE: rumours are flying around that Jeff Goldblum and Harrison Ford are also dead. More news as we get it. - 12:33pm.

UPDATE: Michael Jackson’s condition upgraded from ‘dead’ to ‘not dead’. More news as we get it. - 12:39pm.

UPDATE: a man has just been sighted coming out of the hospital. Could it be Michael Jackson? More news as we get it. - 12:41pm.

UPDATE: nope, it was just some guy. More news as we get it. - 12:44pm.

UPDATE: gaup has heard talk that it is not, in fact, Michael Jackson the singer in hospital, but a plumber also called Michael Jackson. More news as we get it. - 12:46pm.

UPDATE: Jack Nicholson and Chevy Chase are also rumoured to be dead at this time. More news as we get it. - 12:57pm.

UPDATE: Michael Jackson ‘almost definitely dead, possibly,’ says woman we just met on the street. More news as we get it. - 13:03pm.

UPDATE: Michael Jackson ‘King of Pop’, according to fan. More news as we get it. - 13:10pm.

UPDATE: the entire cast of ‘Smallville’ have perished in a wild knife-fight, say unconfirmed reports. More news as we get it. - 13:12pm.

UPDATE: Michael Jackson said to be in a coma, according to a website we just looked at. More news as we get it. - 13:22pm.

UPDATE: Michael Jackson said to be in a comma, according to another website we looked at. More news as we get it. - 13:24pm.

UPDATE:  nothing to report at all. More news as we get it. - 13:25pm.

UPDATE: leaked footage shows Michael Jackson has indeed died, but has risen from the dead as a funky zombie. More news as we get it. - 13:31pm.

UPDATE: ‘leaked footage’ turns out to be the ‘Thriller’ video. Our apologies. More news as we get it. - 13:35pm.

UPDATE: rumours growing that Jeff Goldblum and Harrison Ford slaughtered Jack Nicholson, who was watching Smallville at the time. More news as we get it. - 13:38pm.

UPDATE: above update proven to be ‘utter bollocks’. More news as we get it. - 13:40pm.

UPDATE: according to a reporter’s notebook we just caught a glimpse of, Michael Jackson is something something. We couldn’t really read her handwriting. More news as we get it. - 13:44pm.

UPDATE: Jeff Goldblum rumoured to have hurled Jack Nicholson at Chevy Chase, killing them both instantly. More news as we get it. - 13:48pm.

UPDATE: every celebrity in Hollywood now dead. More news as we get it. - 13:50pm.

UPDATE: we just saw a cat run up a tree. Awwww! More news as we get it. - 13:52pm.

UPDATE: Michael Jackson dead again. More news as we get it. - 13:55pm.

UPDATE: Michael Jackson not not dead. More news as we get it. - 13:55pm.

UPDATE: no-one has a clue what is going on. More news as we get it. - 13:55pm.

UPDATE: according to the BBC News, Michael Jackson almost definitely dead. More news as we get it. - 13:57pm.

UPDATE: Ashton Kutcher still alive, according to Ashton Kutcher’s Twitter page. More news as we get it. - 13:59pm.

UPDATE: Michael Jackson declared ‘dead or alive’ by CNN. More news as we get it. - 14:02pm.

UPDATE: an LA coroner finally makes the sad news official - Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, has died in hospital, aged 50. - 14:06pm.

RIP, Michael. You died as you lived - in a flurry of wild media speculation.